The 10 unmistakable habits of irresistible people

The 10 unmistakable habits of irresistible peopleThe 10 unmistakable habits of irresistible peopleToo many people succumb to the mistaken belief that being likeable comes from natural, unteachable traits that belong only to a lucky few - the good looking, the fiercely social, and the incredibly talented. Its easy to fall prey to this misconception.Some people, regardless of what they lack - money, looks, or social connections - always radiate with energy and confidence. Even the most skeptical individuals find themselves enamorad with these charming individuals.These people are the life of every party. Theyre the ones you turn to for help, advice, and companionship.You just cant get enough of them, and they leave you asking yourself, What do they have that I dont? What makes them so irresistible?The difference? Their sense of self-worth comes from within.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscienc e, and moreIrresistible people arent constantly searching for validation, because theyre confident enough to find it in themselves. There are certain habits they pursue every day to maintain this healthy perspective.Since being irresistible isnt the result of dumb luck, its time to study the habits of irresistible people so that you can use them to your benefit.Get ready to say hello to a new, more irresistible you.They focus on people more than anything elseIrresistible people possess an authentic interest in those around them. As a result, they dont spend much time thinking about themselves. They dont obsess over how well theyre liked, because theyre too busy focusing on the people theyre with. Its what makes their irresistibility landseem so effortless.To put this habit to work for you, try putting down the smartphone and focusing on the people youre with. Focus on what theyre saying, not what your response will be, or how what theyre saying will affect you. When people tell you something about themselves, follow up with open-ended questions to draw them out even more.They are authenticIrresistible people are who they are. Nobody has to burn up energy or brainpower trying to guess their agenda or predict what theyll do next. They do this because they know that no one likes a fake.People gravitate toward authentic individuals because they know they can trust them. Its easy to resist someone when you dont know who they really are and how they really feel.They find reasons to love lifeIrresistible people are positive and passionate. Theyre never bored, because they see life as an amazing adventure and approach it with a joy that other people want to be a part of.Its not that irresistible people dont have problems - even big ones - but they approach problems as temporary obstacles, not inescapable fate. When things go wrong, they remind themselves that a bad day is just one day, and they keep hope that tomorrow or next week or next month will be better.They d itch the small talkTheres no surer way to prevent an emotional connection from forming during a conversation than by sticking to small talk. When you robotically approach people with small talk this puts their brains on autopilot and prevents them from having any real affinity for you. Irresistible people create connection and find depth even in short, everyday conversations. Their genuine interest in other people makes it easy for them to ask good questions and relate what theyre told to other important facets of the speakers life.They treat EVERYONE with respectWhether interacting with their biggest client or a server taking their drink order, irresistible people are unfailingly polite and respectful. They understand that - no matter how nice they are to the person theyre having lunch with - its all for naught if that person witnesses them behaving badly toward someone else. Irresistible people treat everyone with respect because they believe theyre no better than anyone else.Th ey have integrityPeople with high integrity are irresistible because they walk their talk, plain and simple. Integrity is a simple concept but a difficult thing to practice. To demonstrate integrity every day, irresistible people follow through, they avoid talking bad about other people, and they do the right thing, even when it hurts.They dont try too hardIrresistible people dont dominate the conversation with stories about how smart and successful they are. Its not that theyre resisting the urge to brag. The thought doesnt even occur to them because they know how unlikeable people are who try too hard to get others to like them.They smilePeople naturally (and unconsciously) mirror the body language of the person theyre talking to. If you want people to find you irresistible, smile at them during conversations and they will unconsciously return the favor and feel good as a result.They make an effort to look their best (just not too much of an effort)Theres a massive difference betw een being presentable and being vain. Irresistible people understand that making an effort to look your best is comparable to cleaning your house before company comes - its a sign of respect for others. But once theyve made themselves presentable, they stop thinking about it.They recognize the difference between fact and opinionIrresistible people handle controversial topics and touchy subjects with grace and poise. They dont shrink from sharing their opinions, but they make it clear that theyre opinions, not facts. Whether discussing global warming, politics, vaccine schedules, or GMO foods, irresistible people recognize that many people who are just as intelligent as they see things differently.Bringing it all togetherIrresistible people did not have fairy godmothers hovering over their cribs. Theyve simply perfected certain appealing qualities and habits that anyone can adopt as their own.They think about other people more than they think about themselves, and they make other pe ople feel liked, respected, understood, and seen. Just remember the more you focus on others, the more irresistible youll be.Travis Bradberry is the co-author ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0and the co-founder ofTalentSmart.Thiscolumnfirst appeared onLinkedIn.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people